SATURDAY 5 NOVEMBER
Stadsschouwburg, 19.30, €25

The article below is compiled from and inspired by the book Next Nature (Actar Press, November 2011). Learn more about natural marketing, anti-depressant yoghurt, pig farms and in vitro meat at the Next Nature Power Show this week in Stadsschouwburg.

A Next Nature Tour of Albert Heijn

Genetic manipulation, selective breeding, international shipping, lab-derived flavours and colours, global laws and same-day shipping from the tropics: Albert Heijn is the best evidence that we’re living in the future. Here, the packaging tastes better than the food. The fruits are more cultural than natural. And anything that is authentic is really, really fake. Let the people of Next Nature take you on a tour of the strangest place you’ll visit all day.

Dutch carrots are weird

Cart your empty basket over to the produce section. Consider the standardised, day-glo hue of the carrots. These root veggies used to come in white, yellow, red and purple, yet in most countries, the commercial varieties of carrot are bright orange. In fact, orange is not even the ‘natural’ colour for carrots. While carrots have been cultivated for nearly 1000 years, the first concrete evidence for orange carrots only comes from 17th century paintings.

It turns out that they may be this colour for entirely political reasons. Legend has it that Dutch farmers in the 16th century cultivated orange carrots as a tribute to William of Orange – who led the struggle for Dutch independence – and the colour stuck. Legend or not, a millennium of multicolored carrot history was wiped out in a generation. Nowadays, carrots in other colors are only available from specialty farmers.

Intelligently designed bananas

Now, walk a few steps to the fruit section and marvel at the bananas. Bananas fit perfectly in your hand, are easy to peel, and their packaging turns yellow when it’s time to eat. Some creationists have argued that they’re evidence of intelligent design, and they are – our own. Archaeological evidence suggests that banana cultivation goes back to at least 5000 BC. The modern banana has been modified from its wild ancestor, which was small and filled with hard seeds. Humans have made the banana hypernatural: better than anything found in nature.

Make sure to pick up a bunch. You might not be able to enjoy the perfect fruit much longer. Nearly all domesticated bananas are clones of the Cavendish variety, making them prone to disease. In the 1960s, Panama Disease wiped out the main commercial banana cultivar at the time. Some experts argue it’s only a matter of time before the same thing happens to our Chiquitas and Doles.

Fruit2Day

For the final stop in the produce section, take a look at the refrigerated fruit juices. Portable, prepackaged, and single-serving, fruit is the ultimate convenience food. That doesn’t mean that they can’t be improved.

Fruit2Day eliminates all problems of eating two pieces of fruit by sticking them in a bottle. But this convenience comes at a cost. The package of juice is twice as expensive as two pieces of actual fruit. Not to mention that ‘cherry-grape’ consists mostly of apple, banana, and pear purée .

As with many convenience foods, the packaging has replaced the product as the most important feature. We consume images before we consume food.

Bloodless sausage

Now, walk over to the meat aisle, with its stacks of plastic-packaged chicken, pork and beef. Stuffed in sausages and sliced into strips, supermarket meat is already pretty disengaged from the animal. So why not take it further?

In 1936, famed carnivore Winston Churchill predicted that ‘we shall escape the absurdity of growing a whole chicken in order to eat the breast or wing, by growing these parts separately under a suitable medium.’ According to Mark Post, a professor at the University of Maastricht, lab-grown meat may soon be produced on an industrial scale – no living animal necessary. If it looks like pork and tastes like pork, will you care if it came from a petri dish and not from a pig?

Pringles aren’t potatoes

On the way to the freezer section, take a detour through the snacks. Ignore the bagged potato chips – they’re too authentic – and grab a can of Pringles. Proctor & Gamble, the maker of Pringles, successfully argued in a British court that their product is not a potato chip. The company’s lawyers pointed out that their product has a shape and colour not found in nature, and that it is less than 50% potato by weight. A ruling otherwise would have resulted in a valued-added tax that is normally added to potato chips. This may be one of the only times when a corporation was proud that their food has strayed so far from ‘wholesome’ and ‘natural’.

Where fish sticks come from

Now, in the freezer aisle, pull out a frosty box of frozen fish sticks (fish fingers). You might not know a pollock from a haddock, but you know a fish stick on sight. Brands are easier to distinguish than species. Nearly all children in developed nations know more corporate logos than they do local plants or animals. Human representations of nature have become more important than nature itself. Fish don’t come from the ocean, but from Captain Iglo and Euroshopper.

Buying Nature

While you’re waiting to pay, look down in your basket and look for phrases like ‘Farm fresh’and ’100% natural’. Does the packaging use images of pastoral farms or contented livestock? Do your free-range eggs give you a warm, fuzzy feeling while thinking about those happy hens? In the outlandish world of Albert Heijn, tigers offer you sprinkles, goats sell beer and pigs promote candy.

Nature is the greatest marketing tool of our time. It might be real, it might be invented, but it’s always there, persuading you to buy more.